i desire the lost...

Riane so focused.

Lauren learning some techniques.

Club was funny on Monday.  It was small but so fun, we screamed Adele songs, I brushed my teeth in front of club and Jacob dressed as a spanish magician from Milwaukee the typical young life club... but it didn't seem the same. 

We are going to Lake Champion this summer and I sat at Wendy's with a couple of girls who have been coming for a few weeks and I asked them if they wanted to come to camp here was their response: 

"Well I mean everything you show us just looks like its a bunch of fun and you don't talk about Jesus." I was thinking to myself... well no not quite but I realized in that moment we have few to no really lost kids coming to club... I went home so burdened, so convicted. 

I woke up Tuesday morning so uneasy... I don't know what to do, I don't know if I need to change or my techniques do but something has to happen. 

Obviously this is incarnational ministry and Jesus so often hung out with the broken, the messed up, the unmentionables of society and thats what I want. 

Monday before club I went with Stephanie to an honor society meeting (don't even ask how I got that idea) and as she handed out tickets to kids for a fundraiser, I saw girls that I would NEVER meet normally at a sports game and I thought... "where are these kids? How do I find these kids? Love these kids? These are the kids Jesus would have been with." So I desire the lost of Hickory and I don't know where to go to find the atheists, the drunkards, the adulteress women, the lame but I know He will show me where to go. 

For now could you be praying that the lost would come... not necessarily to club but that I would develop friendships and there would be a change? 

all I need- jj heller

I Don't need a thing
My good Shepherd brings me all
You are all I need

You let me catch my breath
Even in the valley of death
You are all I need

All I need to be complete
Is Your love
Your blood that covers me

You lift up my head
You provide the wine and bread
You, You are all I need

I don't know about you but I think I need a lot, material things, people, words, actions I always want or need something... way more than I would share with people.  I want people to think I do a lot, I want them to be impressed with me, I want to be acknowledged in this world, be told that I am important or needed.

This happens to me so often in my job with young life.  In our region people on staff are often asked to lead worship, to lead seminars, to run things, to be on assignments, to speak, to disciple, to train, to plan.  I am not asked, I fly under the radar and honestly I have never been bothered by this until I started planning our committee leader weekend and I realized how often I feel as though I am not needed.  I can make a spreadsheet, I can organize a crowd, I can pray, but I am replaceable. We are all replaceable... 

I listened to this song recently and its one I love because it reminds me of where my needs lay.  "I don't need a thing, my good shepherd brings me all" I read that and I can finally breath... and I can't believe I held my breath for song long believing there were other things that I needed.   Yes we are replaceable but when I stop finding worth in the lessons I give, or the words I say, or the actions or the things that are asked of me than being replaced doesn't seem so life threatening.  It seems life giving... I don't want to be known in this world because I offer nothing but I truly honestly want Jesus... I want Jesus to be known in me I want to bring His presence in every part of my life I want to honor and glorify him.  I don't want to be impressive on Young Life staff I want to to be impressed by Jesus and have him bring me to my knees and remind me He is all I need.  So if I get asked to leave chesapeake tomorrow and I am replaced I will know and believe that He is it. He is all I need.