YoungLives

I just realized I never posted this but it is technically from TWO weeks ago!

Last week ended up being such a great week! I was able to go up to Charlottesville Thursday night (the day before my bi weekly training time) and visit with my sister and spend the night with my good friends Holly and Jay, I am so thankful for them. Holly and Jay just had a baby, Joel and he is seriously the best, just so joyful!

On Saturday night I was asked to come to a Young Lives club in Newport News by one of our committee women (Barbara) who is starting Young Lives here in Chesapeake. I cannot even begin to tell you my experience nor do I feel like I could even if I wanted to... that small little room with orange walls was sacred ground. I truly didn't know what to expect with Young Lives all I knew was that the Lord has put a lot on my heart about it, and I am scared to admit maybe even a call. There were about 5 girls there all of which had children and two of which were pregnant with another child, These girls were closed off to say the least but I told this to Barabara later I don't feel like they had any reason to not be closed off... they were wounded and they were hurting and they were stressed all at 15.

As we sat around a big table where a leader read to them scripture about how deeply loved they were by a savior she asked them "How do you know God loves you?" Each girl reluctantly answered and each answer rocked my world but one was simply life changing for me "I know I am not supposed to have the stress I have in my life, I know but I also know that I have a God that loves me because He never left me and He never made it too much." Just rest in that with me... reflect in that with me. Her name was Jasmine so if you think of it pray for her... she is going to college next year she has a two year old little boy and she has a relationship with God that is deep and real.

I'm desperate for Him.

I have never been so exhausted...

I realized today that I do not know how to stop... so much so that I forgot my notes for my club talk last night and had to "wing it" it was the most heart wrenching thing I've ever had to do in my life. I believe it was so hard because all I want is for kids to find Christ exciting and see Him as loving and irresistible and I wasn't able to share that with them.

It kills me that I would treat something so urgent and so pivotal with such flippancy but my Mom shared with me today, that because of my kind heart I tend to say yes to everything (like I did right before club) and what stems out of that is a learning experience from the Lord.

So here I sit beating myself up over the Lord showing me His heart and showing me my sin and my desperate need for Him.