Every thursday morning I have bible study with some of my hickory girls. Every thursday I wake up so sleepy from sheville the night before and I think how am I going to rally and do this. Then I go... I walk into chik fila or starbucks wherever we end up meeting and I am so thankful.
This morning I was just so happy to be with these girls, there was such a long time where girls didn't get it, they didn't want Bible study or it was awkward and no one asked questions. Now they want it, they talk, we laugh so hard, we are living life together and its beautiful and I'm thankful to be in a chik fila with a group of high school girls... not many can say that I'm sure.
This morning was so precious to me... the girls got me a few christmas gifts and not just any gifts they got me "secret socks!" I told them one time when I first met them all that I loved socks in boots because you can mismatch or wear CRAZY ones and no one would ever know it was like a little secret with yourself, you could be all hipster and cute on the outside but deep down you had crazy cat socks on, they laughed... I'm sure it wasn't that funny (now that I typed that what a great analogy for sin, haha.) That was so sweet they remembered the "secret socks"...
That was just part of it the other gift was they made a collage of pictures of us and they wrote notes to me on it and framed it... I cried... I have never felt so loved... goodness I am sobbing right now as I type.
When I went on Young Life staff all I wanted was to be able to share Christ with girls to love them as Christ did and live life with them, be with them, and care for them as Carrie (my young life leader) once and still does care for me so that I would know Jesus' real love. When I went on staff it was hard... and it didn't feel like that all the time. I don't know if these girls realized how much this gift meant to me, reading their notes I just can't even describe the feeling. I feel like I have barely done anything for them which is true Jesus did it all and I am so thankful for that but it reminded me of when it was hard when girls didn't want to hang out or were too busy to... or when I didn't have anyone to say hi to at the football games... or when girls just stopped answering texts... and then it reminded me how worth it it all is... it always feels good to be loved but what I realized in this moment is that they knew Christ they know what it looks like to follow him to be cared for by him, for it to be hard to read the Bible but good to study it together... how lonely it seems and how full it all seems at the same time.
I am a broken mess, but some how they see Christ in me. I can't even describe the love I have for these girls... they are precious to me and to my life these are the girls that I will be at their wedding and their parents funerals I am in this for life with them.
So Steph Steph, Anne, Riane, Allie, Sydney, Bailey, Emily, Morgan & Julia thank you. I love you girls more than you will ever know and one day when I let you read these posts I pray you see how much you have loved me when you thought I was doing all the loving.
