aunt susan

Last week I traveled to Williamsburg VA to visit with my sweet, incredible, humble, sacrificial, smart, funny, lovable, patient, genuine, bold, passionate, selfless, inclusive, and kind Aunt susan. She is my Dad's sister and is a sweet friend to me.

My aunt is one of my biggest fans, she has prayed for my salvation since the moment I took my first breath, she has held me in her arms when I was an infant and has held me before the Father ever since.  My Aunt Susan is a warrior for God, she is prayerful, considerate and passionate and wants all to know the true freedom of our savior.  She is a gift to my life and to my soul, she loves what I do and loves hearing about HS girls and the mission of YL.  She is always for me, she prays for me, asks me about what I'm learning about Jesus, and loves to talk to me about the glory of a God that has called us to himself.  It breaks my heart that this amazing woman lives in Alabama, I wish she lived right next door because time with her is life giving and special.

I haven't seen my aunt for about seven years which I didn't even realize because she is someone so close to me, she knows SO much about my life.  When I saw her nothing changed she loves coffee, she loves talking and she LOVES praying.  We spent about 2 hours just sitting on the couch catching up and another 2 at lunch laughing and sharing deep sorrows and joys of ministry and then we spend time praying for one another.  I have never sat and prayed like this with someone in my family before, we praised God, we asked him for blessings, and begged for freedom for those in captivity in our lives, we prayed for people we loved, we worked with, we prayed for joy, for strength but mostly just for Him.  When I left my sweet aunt I felt whole... I went into our time wounded needing love and care and confidence in my life and I left KNOWING that our God was real...

My Aunt Susan prayed everyday that I would come to know Jesus some how... her prayers came true on a warm June night at a Young Life camp in NY in 2004 and as she and about a million angels in heaven rejoiced she went straight back to her knees again to pray for many more in our family, in our lives to come to know the freedom of His name.

I want to be like her... I want to live a life like her... I am so thankful that one of the women I admire most in life is a woman who can't drive, doesn't text, hates waking up before 10, loves cats, has been all over the world, has lived all over the US, writes manuals for army tents, reads Corrie Ten Boom,  prays with joy, is bold with her friends, has brought many to the feet of Jesus, and can walk into a shop in a town she hasn't lived in for 20 years and see a woman who she prayed with weekly and act as if no time has passed at all... that is a woman of God... that is His kingdom.

Aunt Susan you're a gift to me, thank you for bringing me to the foot of the cross, thank you for sitting with me, and hearing my sorrows, and always loving me and supporting me even when I act like a totally crazy person and tell you I am going to move to a town in Virginia to love lost broken high school girls because the Lord told me to.  Thanks for loving me whether it be financially, prayerfully, or through a sweet email or phone conversation you are a precious gift to my life... thank you for loving me... I pray the Lord makes me like you one day!

top 20

Once again time got away from me but here I am BACK IN ACTION! Since there are just too many stories to tell here is a list of 20 things that have gone on in my life since I've last posted:

1. Went on assignment at Young Life's Saranac Village in Saranac Lake NY (july 26-august 24)
2. Was a housekeeping boss on assignment thus learning how to thoroughly clean vomit out of carpet  (yes this is indeed part of my job on Young Life staff... and I'm not kidding.)
3. Learned that baptism is beautiful and necessary.
4. Broke up with a boyfriend.
5. Fell deeper in love with the Bible
6. Broke a rib (still recovering... currently on muscle relaxers)
7. Coordinated a beautiful wedding for two sweet friends.
8. Got a pair of vans... I swore I would never fall into the ways of Chesapeake, yet here I am.
9. Became a dance coach for the Hickory HS Hilites
10. Realized that I am WAY overcommitted for this fall.
11. Turned 24
12. Cried... a lot.
13. Laughed more.
14. Realized the only hobby that I truly enjoy is being with people... all of the time.
15. VERY reluctantly skinny dipped for the first time (the action not the frozen yogurt shop)
16.  Made new friends
17.  Said "see you soon." to one of my best friends sweet sweet Stephanie.
18. Learned that my compassion is a gift and a curse
19. Saw some old friends
20. and last but certainly not least...Fell even deeper in love with the ministry of loving lost HS students to the foot of the cross.

I am learning a lot about myself.  This year is going to be tough I can already feel it... the Lord has some huge plans of which I may not seem ready for but I know that He has me and will give me boldness when needed and confidence when necessary for now I will just sit in trust and REMAIN.

Exodus 14:14
"The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still."

Something I am not too terribly good at... but he is calling me to be still when it seems that all I do is run around.

 A few of my housekeepers in the assigned team house: The Guidehouse

my housekeeping girls (all in HS,) from left: MK, myself, Daisy, Meghan and Rachel

 Being silly always...

The Housekeepers and Laundry girls we called ourselves #HKLF standing for Housekeeper laundry friends. From Left: Kyle, Daniel, Jenna, Natalie, Zach, Me, Joe, MK, Daisy, Meghan & Rachel.

Every bus that comes to camp gets a HUGE welcome by the work crew (this is just a few of us in between buses)... all the kids will run off the bus and run through our gauntlet of high fives and screams... almost as if they were being welcomed into the kingdom of heaven... I can't wait for that!

The Best Week of My Life

Young Life has a tag line of saying "the best week of your life or your money back." I have said that to A LOT of students... never would I expect to say it to myself as well.  We got back from Lake Champion on Friday night and I would have to say this has been one of the best camp trips I have ever been on... the Lord moved in tremendous was he did huge things! 8 girls stood up to declare that they accepted Jesus into their hearts.  I feel incredibly blessed to have been able to pray with them that sweet special prayer where they declared Him as their lord! I wanted to share with you FB status', texts and tweets about lake champion! 

senior club 2012- stephanie

Phew, year two of club is done... Finished and I can't believe it.
When I got to Chesapeake it was a long uphill battle if you have read my blog from the beginning you will see, I didn't think I would see fruit, I was scared 98% of the time and I felt like I had failed... Lord thank you for all of that because it humbled me it showed me that all I have and need is you in me.

Stephanie my best friend... a high school senior of whom I have post after post about got to share her testimony at club tonight. Stephanie has been in this with me, she sees the need for a savior in girls lives and she desires true, real, life for them. Tonight she shared the trials of her life in front of 60 kids all of whom go to her school. She shared the brokenness of life and how Christ granted her with freedom and the spirit was glowing from her.
I wish she could have seen the Stephanie I met October of 2010 the one who was obsessed with looks, the silent, scared girl that I got to see blossom into a gorgeous woman of Christ.
Stephanie is creating a legacy at hickory and she knows it now. She is going to the university of north Texas next year (yes I'm sad) and she has seen fruit she has seen death and life and joy and she will get to lead girls that don't even know her yet to the foot of the cross. I can't wait for her to breathe the life of Christ into the broken the lord will show her.


I'm so proud of her and so incredibly blessed that I have a best friend who is 17 years old who knows more about faithful living than most people my age and I am so thankful that a room of HS students got to hear her testament to freedom. I will miss having her physically by my side in this so much more than i let myself feel but if she stayed here it would stifle the kingdom its so obvious she is a gift and has so much Christ to share!
So my sweet Stephanie you are free indeed, you are allowing kids to bump into a holy place when they hear you and speak to you, I am so sorry I didn't introduce myself to you when you were decorating that junior hallway but don't worry that is forever etched in my mind and I know it is a part of your testament to him :). Stephanie don't you ever forget that it is never finished it is just the beginning I love you dearly you are a precious gift to my soul. Galatians 2:20 is what you're living.

sweet haleigh

I was blessed to baptize Abby
Dec. 2010

After I baptized Haleigh
Dec. 2010

Abby, Haleigh and Mollie at our Campaigner Christmas Party 2009

If you look wayyyyy back at my first posts you can read all about when I left Lynchburg to move to Chesapeake how it was hard but good. Lynchburg was a really difficult place for me I had a love hate relationship with my time there but the things that I loved far outweighed the things that I hated.  One thing I loved in Lynchburg was the ministry at Jefferson Forest High School that the Lord called me to.
The people I lead with became my best friends and we grew together as we ran after a school that seemed to have doors that were cemented shut.  After my first semester leading there that team left (they were seniors) and from that semester on I had a new team pretty much every semester which made for consistency in ministry difficult.  But the girls were the same, the heartbreak was the same, and the passion the Lord gave me was the same... thank goodness... all of that leads me to the Andersons and to Haleigh.

Abby and I at Saranac

I met Haleigh when I was 19, she was 16. Haleigh was a Junior and was reaching for everything and anything that she thought would give her life... she was very close to my best friend Natalie (she also lead with me) and once Natalie graduated and stopped leading she and I became close.  I spent many afternoons with Haleigh talking about her life and quietly introducing her to Jesus at a local coffee shop in the tiny town of Forest. Those afternoons were precious but she just wasn't seeing the words she was reading as we would look through Mark together... that summer I took a group of 11 girls from JF to camp at Saranac including Haleigh and her sweet little sister Abby.  That week changed those two girls for the rest of their lives... not just Haleigh and Abby but the entire Anderson family... they were changing the generations that both Haleigh and Abby would create.  That week on a sandy beach at Saranac I got to pray with the sisters to come into the arms of their Lord and savior. I will never ever forget that moment as long as I live those girls are precious to me.  When they got home they were exploding with Jesus and their littlest sister Sydney and their mom eventually came to know the Lord through their own testimonies, it was beautiful!  All of that leads me to this past Monday.
I was in Lynchburg for the weekend and was able to get coffee with my sweet Haleigh on monday morning. Haleigh is now such a grown up! She is married and is pregnant with her first baby a sweet little girl.

We had a photo day in a field :)

Playing "scenarios" together

Being silly at our first Spink Party!

Haleigh and I sat and drank our waters and talked for hours about her life and her family the hardships of pregnancy and marriage what I was so thankful to see and hear throughout everything was her heart for Jesus... she has immersed her life in Christ every action every word everything she wants Christ to be at the center.  I was amazed to see how she has grown and changed and how she is in love with her savior just as much now as she was 4 years ago I would say even more so!

I sat back in my chair as Haleigh described what the Lord was teaching her and I felt so convicted that the Lord is calling me to create a legacy... to alter lives... to alter generations... families... lives for all eternity... just for Him, not for me, not for young life, not for a job but for Him! As I listened to this beautiful girl speak of her savior I couldn't help but think of her past of her life and of the healing the Lord did to make every broken thing in her 4 years ago whole again and here she was whole and passionate.

 I am so thankful the Lord let me see this and experience this and see that our lives here are short but when we use every moment for His glory we can experience every second of this life.  So my sweet Haleigh I am so proud of you, for your passion for your love and for your desire to raise your sweet baby girl in the name of Jesus and how her life will forever be changed just as yours was on that little beach at a small little young life camp called Saranac.

 Abby, Haleigh and I At church

Haleigh, her husband Levi and their sweet baby girl (in her belly!)

not being cool...

I'm tired...
I woke up to the feeling of a wall in my face and my kitchen floor on my feet, oh thats right because I slept in a hallway... poor working conditions? Maybe... but definitely so worth it,  last night I had about 16 high school girls over for a sleep over.  Such a sweet gift, I love having a house full. I never loved sleep overs in high school I think because I liked waking up in my own bed being able to shower and do what I normally did in the morning without disruption but I was probably a weird kid.

I remember when my leader would invite us over for sleepovers it was a little different because she was married and there would be about 4 of us but we would sleep on these giant floral sofas stay up kind of late and laugh and I just loved it, in fact I can't remember much about the sleepover but just loving it and loving being with her.... I don't know if girls really love being with me.

Here is where insecurity feeds itself, I know that I am wonderfully made by a God that loves me desperately that cares for me abundantly and the ONLY thing I offer is Him truly that is the only thing that is attractive about me but sometimes don't you just want to be liked? I am a 23 year old girl who spends the majority of her time with girls between the ages of 14-18... and I STILL seek their approval... I"M ALMOST 24! I could have a child of my own at this age and I still want high school girls to like me... we are crazy creatures.  I want them to want to be with me, to beg me to play just dance with them, to laugh at me and with me... but they don't.  I am not that cool... but here is what I have to believe is that its ok... there will be a time where they will want to be with me but I think the biggest thing is that I have to remember that my worth does not rest in their opinions of me.

I'm not cool, thank goodness... but today I hope I see the need to be an adult in the lives of adolescents not just an older sister who takes care of them... sometimes.

loving... this is for you mom.

Senior year of college Mothers Day.

I feel incredibly lucky a lot of my days and I think I saw that a lot especially as I blog but last night as I fell asleep the Lord just reminded me how incredibly loved I am and how lucky did I feel? 

 I'm not the best daughter to my parents, they love me so so much and I am sometimes too busy to call or thank them for ALL they do for me... and they do so much for me way more than many parents of daughters my age would do. 

Let me give you a little visual of Kay Hackett...1. she is a socialite 2. She knows everyone 3. She reads everything 4. She talk to anyone or anything, but she is the type of woman you meet and just want to talk to her forever, she is kind, sweet, sincere and INSANELY smart.  I think sometimes people can judge her because of her sweetness and not see how intelligent she is, but she is...  but the thing I love most about my mother is that she never judges. 

"Katie, this is what the Kardashians do in photos."

 I called her yesterday and we weren't talking about much but I told her how sometimes I'm just too tired to wash my face before bed, most people would be disgusted by me including myself, haha... but my sweet 5'5 Mama just said "When you want to be in bed, you have to be in bed."  That seems just like such a funny little phrase that can be passed by in conversation but I feel like phrases like that emulate my mother.  I know that sometimes she worries about me and my ministry that I don't have enough that I can't always do the things I want to because of money but she supports me and loves me in it.  She knows that my job is sharing Jesus with high school kids and even though that isn't something she is passionate about she cries with me when I cry over girls that are hurting. She laughs with me over stories of things kids have done and she is overjoyed to tell people about what I do (I am so thankful for that... more than she knows I think.)  I feel like my job is the most important thing in the world but the world may not, but my Mom loves that I love it. 

That is the woman I want to be like, she has so much compassion, so much love, and so much joy, and every ounce of her love is without judgement.  So Mom thank you for loving me when I'm not easy to love, thank you for supporting me always, thanks for the clothes, the times you said "you need to stay home today" when I was in high school, for laughter, for kind words, for knowing my heart even when I don't show it, for my car, for knowing I hate mushrooms, for buying pineapple salsa every time I come home, for listening, for crying, for talking, for always taking care of for telling me to take naps, for being a woman that is careful.

I love you Mom. 

i desire the lost...

Riane so focused.

Lauren learning some techniques.

Club was funny on Monday.  It was small but so fun, we screamed Adele songs, I brushed my teeth in front of club and Jacob dressed as a spanish magician from Milwaukee the typical young life club... but it didn't seem the same. 

We are going to Lake Champion this summer and I sat at Wendy's with a couple of girls who have been coming for a few weeks and I asked them if they wanted to come to camp here was their response: 

"Well I mean everything you show us just looks like its a bunch of fun and you don't talk about Jesus." I was thinking to myself... well no not quite but I realized in that moment we have few to no really lost kids coming to club... I went home so burdened, so convicted. 

I woke up Tuesday morning so uneasy... I don't know what to do, I don't know if I need to change or my techniques do but something has to happen. 

Obviously this is incarnational ministry and Jesus so often hung out with the broken, the messed up, the unmentionables of society and thats what I want. 

Monday before club I went with Stephanie to an honor society meeting (don't even ask how I got that idea) and as she handed out tickets to kids for a fundraiser, I saw girls that I would NEVER meet normally at a sports game and I thought... "where are these kids? How do I find these kids? Love these kids? These are the kids Jesus would have been with." So I desire the lost of Hickory and I don't know where to go to find the atheists, the drunkards, the adulteress women, the lame but I know He will show me where to go. 

For now could you be praying that the lost would come... not necessarily to club but that I would develop friendships and there would be a change? 

all I need- jj heller

I Don't need a thing
My good Shepherd brings me all
You are all I need

You let me catch my breath
Even in the valley of death
You are all I need

All I need to be complete
Is Your love
Your blood that covers me

You lift up my head
You provide the wine and bread
You, You are all I need

I don't know about you but I think I need a lot, material things, people, words, actions I always want or need something... way more than I would share with people.  I want people to think I do a lot, I want them to be impressed with me, I want to be acknowledged in this world, be told that I am important or needed.

This happens to me so often in my job with young life.  In our region people on staff are often asked to lead worship, to lead seminars, to run things, to be on assignments, to speak, to disciple, to train, to plan.  I am not asked, I fly under the radar and honestly I have never been bothered by this until I started planning our committee leader weekend and I realized how often I feel as though I am not needed.  I can make a spreadsheet, I can organize a crowd, I can pray, but I am replaceable. We are all replaceable... 

I listened to this song recently and its one I love because it reminds me of where my needs lay.  "I don't need a thing, my good shepherd brings me all" I read that and I can finally breath... and I can't believe I held my breath for song long believing there were other things that I needed.   Yes we are replaceable but when I stop finding worth in the lessons I give, or the words I say, or the actions or the things that are asked of me than being replaced doesn't seem so life threatening.  It seems life giving... I don't want to be known in this world because I offer nothing but I truly honestly want Jesus... I want Jesus to be known in me I want to bring His presence in every part of my life I want to honor and glorify him.  I don't want to be impressive on Young Life staff I want to to be impressed by Jesus and have him bring me to my knees and remind me He is all I need.  So if I get asked to leave chesapeake tomorrow and I am replaced I will know and believe that He is it. He is all I need. 

i will be at your wedding...

Every thursday morning I have bible study with some of my hickory girls. Every thursday I wake up so sleepy from sheville the night before and I think how am I going to rally and do this. Then I go... I walk into chik fila or starbucks wherever we end up meeting and I am so thankful.

This morning I was just so happy to be with these girls, there was such a long time where girls didn't get it, they didn't want Bible study or it was awkward and no one asked questions. Now they want it, they talk, we laugh so hard, we are living life together and its beautiful and I'm thankful to be in a chik fila with a group of high school girls... not many can say that I'm sure.

This morning was so precious to me... the girls got me a few christmas gifts and not just any gifts they got me "secret socks!" I told them one time when I first met them all that I loved socks in boots because you can mismatch or wear CRAZY ones and no one would ever know it was like a little secret with yourself, you could be all hipster and cute on the outside but deep down you had crazy cat socks on, they laughed... I'm sure it wasn't that funny (now that I typed that what a great analogy for sin, haha.) That was so sweet they remembered the "secret socks"...

That was just part of it the other gift was they made a collage of pictures of us and they wrote notes to me on it and framed it... I cried... I have never felt so loved... goodness I am sobbing right now as I type.

When I went on Young Life staff all I wanted was to be able to share Christ with girls to love them as Christ did and live life with them, be with them, and care for them as Carrie (my young life leader) once and still does care for me so that I would know Jesus' real love. When I went on staff it was hard... and it didn't feel like that all the time. I don't know if these girls realized how much this gift meant to me, reading their notes I just can't even describe the feeling. I feel like I have barely done anything for them which is true Jesus did it all and I am so thankful for that but it reminded me of when it was hard when girls didn't want to hang out or were too busy to... or when I didn't have anyone to say hi to at the football games... or when girls just stopped answering texts... and then it reminded me how worth it it all is... it always feels good to be loved but what I realized in this moment is that they knew Christ they know what it looks like to follow him to be cared for by him, for it to be hard to read the Bible but good to study it together... how lonely it seems and how full it all seems at the same time.

I am a broken mess, but some how they see Christ in me. I can't even describe the love I have for these girls... they are precious to me and to my life these are the girls that I will be at their wedding and their parents funerals I am in this for life with them.

So Steph Steph, Anne, Riane, Allie, Sydney, Bailey, Emily, Morgan & Julia thank you. I love you girls more than you will ever know and one day when I let you read these posts I pray you see how much you have loved me when you thought I was doing all the loving.

2012

This new years was spent in Blacksburg Virginia.

I packed up my little beetle last Friday and drove from Chesapeake to Richmond to Stuart's Draft to Lexington to Botetourt to Blacksburg to spend new years with my friends who I interned with at Rockbridge in 2010.  We worshipped, spent time with one another, ate, slept, didn't sleep, lit Chinese lanterns, laughed, danced, cried, glorified the lord... it was a really wonderful time. As always, I drove back to Chesapeake and all I longed for was to be home in #sweetsweetchesapeake.

Now I am sick... whats new! This post is probably much more for my memory then for others to read but enjoy these beautiful pictures!