Sing Oh Barren Woman

I'm exhausted. I shouldn't be, but here I am exhausted. Last week was our last club we have our last just Hickory campaigners tomorrow night and all of our alumni students are back in town from college. Things are supposed to slow down right? No, not for me and I like that.

I read this scripture in Isaiah this morning and my heart just felt such rest in it. This time last year I was at rockbridge getting the camp ready for high school and middle school students to hear the greatest news of their lives. Now, here I am on the other side of it all, at least it seems that way, as I sit here in our Young Life office heart broken over girls. Truly I am heartbroken, I say this not so it sounds impressive but truly because it is my heart I have never felt this way before the Lord has put such a burden on me that I simply cannot lose it. As I read Isaiah 54 this morning so much stood out but one part especially:
“Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the LORD.
2 “Enlarge the place of your tent,
stretch your tent curtains wide,
do not hold back;
lengthen your cords,
strengthen your stakes.
3 For you will spread out to the right and to the left;
your descendants will dispossess nations
and settle in their desolate cities.

I am a single girl doing youth ministry, I am in 8 weddings this year and was invited to 13 you can imagine what that can do to your heart, especially someone like me who doesn't necessarily stop. Reading this allowed me to see that although I am single and I may be single for the rest of my life, who knows, that my children are plentiful. I go to the high school, I go to games, I go to coffee, to dinner, to prom pictures, to chess meets, girls spend the night in my house, come over to do crafts and I am single... girls text me, and call me, and meet me at tropical smoothie and I am single. "sing barren woman you who never bore a child, burst into song shout for joy." Oh I am singing, I am singing loud for these kids. "because more are the children of the desolate woman" this is what brought such peace to me, comparison is a thief and it has been for me. I see close friends of mine getting married talking about kids (don't worry they are older than 22) and I sit here thankful I haven't had a longing for it not yet but of course it is woven in me and I want it but more are my children. More time do I have to give, more heart, more places in my life. I am desolate maybe, but more are my children... more of my heart can be burdened for girls. Maybe this is why I am exhausted and if so there is no other exhaustion I would rather have.
So as I type this now I am preparing for an evening of gym classes with high school and college girls, dinner with a leader, and district soccer where I watch girls at Hickory play their hearts out... this is where I find my heart on a gym floor laughing with a lost girl or in the stands screaming for girls I have yet to meet. This is where my heart sits "You oh barren woman" I want to be barren because there I will let my tent curtains expand.

This sounds so extreme but my heart is here and that is what blogging is for right? For you to see where I am?

Oh yeah and last night I played my first villain ever... my name was CD McNosering I hated 3 things 1. Young Life business 2. Sarah McLaughlin and 3. Josh Ring's (a leader) innocence. Wish you could have seen.

7:21 at tropical smoothie

Every Thursday morning at 7:21 (I tell them that time) I meet with two sweet girls Elyssa and Stephanie at Tropical Smoothie. Together we are doing a Bible study/ book study on Brennan Manning's book The Rabbi's Heartbeat (thanks Natalie for letting me borrow it two years ago!) Its so funny because I love doing Bible study but its hard sometimes... really hard. I am pushing and pulling these girls asking them questions trying to see where their hearts are but they are so scared I typically get one word answers and averted eyes. These girls could change their school, I mean REALLY change it but they don't see it at all. Pray for this time for me, pray that I would be able to push the girls hard. Pray that they would remember their times at tropical smoothie as deep and meaningful when they look back at high school and that they could see the realness and the rawness of our conversations.

Prayer.

Please pray for the Valentine family they live here in Chesapeake.
Their daughter, Kelly who was 12 was hit by a car last night and died in the hospital she camw to Wyldlife club and heard the Gosepl. Her older sister Katie is at Great Bridge high school and attends YOung Life as well. Pray that their family feels the nearness of Christ during a time where the "whys" can out weigh every other thought.

four guys, one girl and a mission...

Almost every afternoon at about 3:43 the "kid work" of my day begins I walk up a lonely sidewalk against the grain of hundreds of Freshman, sophomores, juniors and seniors at Hickory. So much runs through my mind during this time usually things like "I'm petrified," "Lord meet me here," "This is my job?" That walk is life giving for me and life altering.

I know kids recognize me, they have to by now. Outside of my 4 other teammates I am the only one going the opposite direction into the school I wonder what they think when they see me... if I'm a student, a mom? I am secretly thankful I don't look my age only when I walk up to the school. I pray that when they see any of us they see something different. I have 4 boy teammates of whom I am just so thankful to know. I wanted to tell you a little bit about each of them because they truly love the Lord and they love high school students... well and with passion... just as Christ would.

Parker- Parker is a Freshman at TCC (Tidewater Community College) and graduated from Great Bridge High School here in Chesapeake. he is probably the quietest out of all of us but he truly has the kindest heart, he would do anything for anyone and although is schedule doesn't always permit him to do ministry he tries his harest to be at everything. When he is at club meeting a new guy I promise that guy feels like the only person that matters to Parker, thats amazing.

Nacho- No, that isn't his real name Chris is his real name but believe it or not no one calls him that, adults included. Nacho is a freshman at TCC as well, and also graduated from Great Bridge High School. Nacho is a hipster, if he knew I said that he would be either really excited or sad, haha but one thing I so appreciate about him is that he will do whatever he can to make sure kids hear about Christ. He gave his first club talk a few weeks ago and his passion and vigor for Christ in his own life were so obvious as he spoke the words of Christ from scripture. He also makes me laugh all the time

Josh- Josh is a senior at ODU (Old Dominion University) also a graduate of Great Bridge, he is engaged to my good friend Ally who leads at Grassfield High School. Josh always is willing to do whatever is asked of him, he leads with quiet ambition something I admire. He doesn't scream he doesn't draw attention to himself but wants nothing more than to be cast aside but wants Christ to exude out of his presence. He also makes me laugh... probably not the hardest thing to do.

Jacob- Jacob is a junior at ODU and graduated from Grassfield High School but will tell you that he 100% from Deep Creek (a suburb thats a bit more on the fringe) Have you ever had that friend you can bring anywhere and people just flock to them? They are easy, joyful and funny? Thats Jacob. He has this personality that no matter what you do you can't help but love him. His faith is something that I admire the most... it is deep and strong and he leads with passion, when he is with his guys you just see how he wants desperately for them to know life and know it to the fullest.

I am so thankful for these boys they really try to love me as best they can and I so wish each one of you could see how they lead, how they want Hickory guys to see freedom and to hear truth. I am in battle with these 4 boys and when I walk that long sidewalk up to Hickory whether or not Parker, Nacho, Josh, or Jacob are with me I know they are in the trenches alongside me. That is a the vision of the disciples of Christ and to think that we are that vision upon an old cement sidewalk in the midst of Abercrombie & Fitch or Volcom clad seniors is truly so insane to me and makes me want to say "Lord are you sure you want me?" And of course He does.

80's Roller Skating Club

It's Monday Monday... Gotta Get Down On Monday

This past Monday we had our first ever Campaigner run club at Hickory... it was AMAZING!
I will be honest is was the most fun I have had at club all semester our campaigners really got a vision for how to run club but even more so how to love their friends in the midst of it all, not just to please us but to please their God. As I looked out into the crowd as we were singing Party in the USA I saw kids laughing and singing... this seems pretty normal but for the first time since I have led at Hickory they were into it, they had let go of everything and wanted to be a part of it all... it was refreshing it was exciting and it made me love leading even more. Now don't get me wrong leading isn't about kids singing I know this but to see them be kids again instead of kids with granite walls packed around their hearts was what I needed to see. Leading is tough most of the time but when you have a night like that you remember the ways in which the Lord is wooing His children to Himself and to be a part of that process can really alter your heart.

In such a contrast to the night I was able to share some pretty scary news on Monday night about this idea of sin, I shared the top 5 news stories on cnn.com from Monday morning and shared 5 facebook status' from high schoolers not in the room... I did this to show the brokenness... the bitterness... the anger and introduce what sin is. This message is hard... its hard to give but its real and there is SUCH redemption in it all.

I pray that this week kids wrestle with this idea of sin and I pray that kids want to know more... that they come back and I would boldly ask the same of you..

But this are moving here in Chesapeake the Lord is revealing Himself to me ever more and I am getting hard truth daily... hard needed truth.

Summer Camp...

I woke up today after a three days at Rockbridge for Assignment Team Training and realized my deep burden for girls. I LOVE high school girls but sometimes I get so wrapped up in them liking me, and becoming a "buddy leader" that I forget that they don't need me they need a savior, praise God that savior is not me because lets be honest I am a hot mess...

I got a text on the way home yesterday from a girl who gave me her deposit for summer camp in December... she wanted it back... and it broke my heart. She hasn't been coming to things, she has been working a lot and told me she couldn't ask off work... my prideful self went "camp is in July, its March you can ask off work" but instead the Lord called me to pray, pray hard for her, and pray hard for girls who I NEVER think would come to camp would come. I have 4 girls coming out of about 12 right now whom I am deathly afraid of and I want more of those girls... so I beg for you to join me in this time of prayer.

pray for Kendall, Megan, Mariah, Bailey- these girls are seriously petrifying I want walls to be broken down.
pray that these girls by the grace of our sweet savior that they would want to experience a week away this summer:
Morgan
Brooke
Bridgette
Rachel
Jacki
Zoe
Taylor
Sydney
Ally

I will probably be asking for so much more prayer over these next few months about girls because I cannot imagine these girls walking around dead any longer without knowing there is something so much better in store for them.