text messages/ emails/ jesus

Its so amazing how a few months ago I wrote a post about texting, how quickly girls reveal their hearts and souls through texting and I totally stand by what I said.

I have talked about Stephanie before, she and I met this year at Tropical Smoothie and I asked for prayers for her that she would feel passionate about Christ. Oh my gosh how the Lord has moved in her, I can't even think about her without crying she is so precious to me. While at camp I just saw Stephanie bloom, her passion for Christ changed it became intimate and sweet, she became intimate and sweet with me and shared her heart and her fears and our relationship has never been the same. Since we got back from camp every week day we have invited kids to come to the young life office for their quiet times, she came everyday at 8:30am. She and I would sit side by side spending time with the Lord. I always write down my prayers and as I would watch her close her eyes to come before our savior I would write furiously that the Lord would protect her that she would feel Him near and my goodness how she has.

Stephanie is getting ready for cheerleading tryouts, she is petrified she and I have talked multiple times about her fears of standing back handsprings, which I know nothing about except through her, and how she wants to make this team bad. Last year she tried out and didn't make it, a gift for me and what seemed like a curse for her. If she had made cheering she wouldn't have ever come to young life or fall weekend she wouldn't have started this relationship with Christ this year. She is so nervous... I told her I would go to tryouts with her would pray with her before and no matter what she is going to be used for God's glory... she knows this now... I am so thankful for that.

I wanted to share this text with you from her I pray she doesn't mind but it has blown my mind the change in her:
s- Katie, I'm getting major butterflies!
k-Oh Steph! What are you the most nervous about?
s- I'm scared that I'm going to be too comfortable with everything and not make it. I trust that God has a plan and if I don't make it then I wasn't meant to be but I'm worried that I think I did well and I will feel heartbreak like I did last year.
k- aww sweet girl, I totally understand. Don't feel like comfort is bad it could be really good! Rest that you are literally so different than you were last year your whole life is different. It's so natural being nervous though, if you weren't I'd be worried. Steph the Lord is going to be so sweet to you I just know it. If you make it you can love those other girls and show them Christ if you don't than you have a whole school to love. Either way He is going to alter this year, you have changed.
s- That means so much it really does. Sometimes I think about if I had made it and I probably would be a completely different person than I am now. I never would've met Kendall or Bridgette who brought me to YoungLIfe so I could meet the Lord. But I know that last year I had selfish intentions of making it but I really wanna make it because I love to do it and I wanna build more relationships through Christ.
k- Oh stephanie I'm crying in my bed. You will no matter what! Girl the Lord has instilled in you a passion that no one can take away tryouts or not you are so incredibly special. THis year is going to be so sweet.
s- Aw Katie, this means so much you have no idea and I can't wait for this year!
k- I can't either steph love you so much I really mean that
s- love you too I'm glad I have you
k- Oh you don't even know

as I typed this I am crying. Hickory has been hard so incredibly hard. I just wanted for girls to have the heart that Stephanie does, I wanted it to be instant and I wanted it to be now but the Lord had HIs timing He knew that I would be sitting in my bed at midnight on a sunday in July texting with a girl who was once lost and is now found.

Honestly I never know what to share in my blog and whats ok and not ok but if Stephanie could soften my heart I know she could so easily soften yours.

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Fast forward a couple of days, I am getting ready for my august assignment where I am sent to Rockbridge to be a work crew boss. Stephanie decided she wanted to apply to work crew its wednesday I leave sunday for Rockbridge, she has tryouts Thursday. Thursday afternoon I went to cheer tryouts and found Stephanie crying... she didn't land her backhand spring. Later that night she found out she didn't make cheer tryouts. As I sat crying in my kitchen knowing that this could easily cause her to fall because her faith is still so new I prayed the Lord would give her work crew that it would be His will for her life 15 minutes later I sat at my computer and got an email telling me Stephanie had made work crew. I sat sobbing... the Lord was so sweet to us... Steph and I went to Rockbridge together and she and I returned so changed. This girl is going to rock her school... not for herself not for me not for anyone but for her Jesus. This is just a glimpse of her story and maybe its more for me than for you but how could I ever deny Jesus after experiencing this... I can't.

sheville

I mentioned long ago that Chesapeake only has about 6 girl leaders Jenn, Ally Katie, Libby, Sarah and myself a small community but it is made HUGE in the summer when we add Alex b, Alex q, Katie m, Shannon l, Becca f, Cristina m, allison m, leslie b, ariel s, and others.

Every week, once a week (typically after club during the year) the girls gather together either at Libby's house or mine to have Sheville.
People tell me often that I am SO lucky to be on young life staff in Chesapeake and I agreed, mostly this is due to the depth of our community here and this depth is because of Christ and how He has moved and allowed us to have this time together as girls.
Every week we get together and talk about how the Lord is shaping us, the hard, the good, the ministry, tears are shed, laughs are heard and encouragement is plentiful. I have never been a part of something like this, so precious and so life giving.
It could be SO incredibly easy for me to sit in that room and think "I am the staff person, these are our volunteer leaders I need to act ok, like I am not hurting or maybe even joyful" but the Lord has instilled such a realness in this time and in my heart that I could NEVER do that.

This past wednesday I shared so much of my heart with a room of 10 girls some of whom I just met in January some even May! As I sat crying on a sofa these girls loved me, Christ loved me through them, and I felt the burdens of the world slowly being taken from me and put on the shoulders of my Jesus. These girls I have known for such a short period have quickly become some of my closest friends in the world. They always tease me and affirm me telling me that "just everyone loves you Katie" or "so many people know you Katie" I of course deny this because it isn't true but think how I don't care, I love that you all know me and you all know me better than anyone. So if any of them read this thank you, thank you for introducing me to sheville to depth, to your hearts, to realness as women of Christ, for always telling me I'm wise, that I'm worth it, that I am needed, that I'm funny, that I'm sweet, that I am loved. I pray one day I will believe all the sweet sweet things you all say about me until then know you all are so extremely precious to my heart and I wish I could write a post about each one of you and maybe one day I will be able to.
For now, thank you I love each of you.

we returned changed...

Thank you all so much for praying and being a part of this week with me, I did not feel as though I was leading a cabin alone but felt as though I had so many people sitting in cabin time with me asking difficult questions and hearing difficult answers, so thank you for that.

This week at Rockbridge was probably one of the hardest weeks I have ever experienced leading. My girls are sassy, real sassy I say this with all the truth in my heart, sometimes I say that to be funny but this time I really mean it. There were times throughout the week when I couldn't even believe the way girls were treating me or the summer staff and work crew, it was almost shocking but it made me all the more thankful they were there hearing about Christ.

By day 4 when girls got to hear about this thing called sin for the first time I realized how they were changing. After cabin time I took 5 girls on the porch of our cabin because they were hurting so deeply, crying so hard, and wanted to talk even though they acted like they were "ok." We sat out on our porch until 2AM and the Lord let me hear the brokenness of girls who have told me they were "fine" for the past 6 months, I heard the pain of hurting families, of hurting bodies, of emotions that had been buried deep for years and I felt undeserving. I felt like the Lord granted me such a vision into the hearts of these girls and all girls at Hickory and it rekindled a fire in my heart for leading. We sat and talked out everything each girl was facing at home and I told them how this was never God's intention, that He never wanted them to hurt this deeply. From that moment on girls changed, they started asking questions they wanted to be with me, they wanted to laugh, they longed for freedom.

On Day 6 our last day, I sat in a rocking chair for 6 hours straight meeting with girls for one on ones. I was able to pray with 3 girls to welcome Christ into their hearts and these girls were lost, one was a girl I was petrified of all year at club she was 14 and I was scared to death of her, but now her life is forever changed and the Lord allowed me to be a part of that and to love her.

That was one thing I learned so deeply over this week, I had girls fighting me, questioning me, and not listening to me all week and I loved them, I can't even explain it. Girls would say rude things to me to the point of me having to leave the room to cry and I would love them, it sounds so masochistic but I think for the first time in my life I caught a glimpse of the ways in which Christ loves us. We are rude, we go against Him and He loves us. This week at camp allowed me to see why I love leading Young Life why I am in love with Christ and why I so desperately want to share Christ with others for the rest of my life because I want them to feel this love that Christ so freely gives us. I want people to know that their brokenness is not the intention of a loving, just God.

I want to share every second of camp so if you want to hear more I would love to talk with you about it all but for now this is what the Lord put on my heart to share and I just thank you for praying for strength I made it up that dumb obstacle course hill because of you!

Prayers Mid-Week of Camp

Thank you so so much for praying. It's been really tough way tougher than I was prepared for. Last night my girls heard for the first time about sin. Its always crazy to me how that night is when girls are the most rude and the most broken at the same time. As we sat down for cabin time the holy spirit worked boldness in me. I sat with 5 girls on our cabin porch last night as they shared the turmoil the pain and the brokenness in their hearts. Pray for movement of the spirit tonight at 9:45 we will have the 20 minutes, pray that tonight would be life altering for these girls pray that they would see that our world is not meant to contain the pain it does.

Pray for
Hallie
Stephanie
Elyssa
Kelli
Amber
Francesca she is hurting deeply right now is closing herself off and sits and cries.

These girls are so ready but so unsure pray for my one on ones with them.

Please pray for these boys, my teammates are so passionately in love with them and have already had such life giving conversations with them.

Cody
Hunter foutz
Andrew donafrio
John shaw
John die
Steven Cotnoir

Pray for my guy teammates
Jacob
Nacho
Parker
And 2 of their key guys who are loving their friends desperately
Zach
Justin

Thank you from all of my being thank you for prayer it is felt and needed.